Usually the first child in the family is found more shy, introvert and dependable on others, even in small matters. This is true as he is being raised with much pampering and given much more facilities. He also becomes a subject of many experiments.
The child is always elder than his parents, in a sense that the parents become parents only after the child takes birth. More often, birth of the first child makes the parents more mature. Therefore, they rear the second child differently. So, usually you find the second child more active and smart.
When there are two children in the house, parents tend to compare them. This creates a sense of competition between the two children. In such an atmosphere the child who is weaker in studies finds himself a sufferer and becomes inactive.
Children become passive when not given chance to put their point, express their displeasure, freeness to discuss their problems, disappointments and feelings of injustice. They suppress their anger and often this anger takes a fatal form.
By being passive, children in fact start controlling parents indirectly. Eventually, the parents succumb to the child’s inactiveness and stop him persuading.
Children, in a way, try to show their helpless state to the parents. This lessens the parents’ expectations from the child, which in turn, reduces the pressure on child.
If the parents don’t seat with the child and pay heed to his problems, if they don’t allow him to express his disagreement and don’t discuss things with him as and when necessary, they make the child passive.
Parents get good results if they act with a little patience, appreciate the child till he improves, act strict only when it is necessary and try to solve his problems.
Give a time limit to the child and stick with it. Make him to understand what would be the result, if this or that thing is not done. When you notice a little improvement, appreciate him immediately and results would get better the next time.
Usually, parents are the first ones who stop supporting the failing child. In case of the weak children, this is indicated by the parents’ absence in the school meetings.
The day the parents would develop a supportive attitude towards their own failing child, the child would start giving best efforts for the success.
If the parents have inexhaustible patience, constant positive efforts and an understanding about the child’s limitations and his inabilities, than to improve and make him successful becomes an easier task.
– Jaydev Sonagara (Excerpt from his book “Parvarish – Making Children Successful”)
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