Generally parents, who insist discipline and good behaviour among their kids, do resort to instructions, advises, punitive measures, physical or mental punishments and for that matter emotional punishments too. Such recourse done by parents often leads to creating many problems with children.

Most of the time parents take this type of punitive measure to bring instant changes in their children. However, results of such futile actions are often short-lived. Parents tend to give physical punishment to their wards because they lack proper understanding of how to improve kids’ behaviour in a short period.

Usually parents, who suffer from a mentality of wielding total control over kids and being a sole proprietor, often resort to physical punishment to their wards. Those children, who have grown up in such punitive environments, do deal with their kids in a similar fashion when they become parents. Such measures create many issues in child’s psyche.

  • Children who were continuously meted out with physical punishment suffer from inferiority complex and eventually lose self pride, and become emotionless.
  • Punishment develops the feeling of vengeance and protests among children.
  • Because of punishment children become emotionless towards their parents, start ignoring them and many times behave in discourteous manner.
  • Children accustomed to such punitive measure develop an attitude of negativity, abhorrence, disgustful, anger and destructive mindset. They behave like that.
  • Parents, who insist a gag order on their kids in their presence, wants their kids to act as per their wishes and do what they say, often creates lot of problems in the upbringing of the kids.
  • Those parents, that lose patience and resort to punishing their kids while trying to make them learn things and improve, break the emotional bridge with their wards. And, thus kids develop a habit of running away in presence of their fathers. And even try to hide them or finds like-minded friends.
  • For kids, fathers who are habitual of treating their wards with harsh words and punishments, often become a problem instead being a solution. And apparently ruin the life of kids having a delusion of being stern disciplinarian.
  • In real sense, parents must develop actual understanding of parenting. They must comprehend the difference between teaching, preaching and punishing and for that they must keep in mind the following things….
  • Need for punishment will not arise if children are patiently given an understanding of what is right and wrong in their behaviour instead of punishing.
  • Kids will commit lesser mistakes if they are given a clear understanding of difference between a process and the result.
  • An improvement could be brought about if children are clearly instructed about the results of their behaviour arising in future and not just being indicated of something to them.
  • Stern disciplinarian parents must remain careful about their speech, actions, behaviour and self discipline, and become role model for their wards.
  • Kids need to be heard patiently, must satisfy their curiosity and ought to be given opportunity to showcase their abilities.
  • For creating a beautiful family, we all and children need to Sometimes a belief like ‘We are true and perfect’ creates trouble in the raising of a kid.
  • Children require support during failures, guidance when commit mistake, encouragement while competing, need self-confidence when up against a danger and always looks for your support and backing.
  • God shapes every child differently and their lives are not just meant to It is needed to find and encourage skills and abilities of theirs which is unique from other kids.

Successful parents could even transform failed kids into a bright success while failed parents may make their bright wards a failure. Successful parents will take side of answers while those failed will resort to doubts and questions. We need to ask ourselves that where do we stand?

– Jaydev Sonagara (Excerpt from his book “Parvarish – Making Children Successful”)


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