When it comes to bringing an expected behaviour among their wards, every family has a different definition, environment, system, training and approach. However, majority of parents waste their efforts, time and power by becoming curer rather than becoming preventer. If you insist certain disciplinarian actions from your wards then it becomes imperative to know that kids learn 50% of the things from home-environs, 25% from school and own attitude and approaches while rest 25% contributed by relatives, neighbors, friends and pre-natal values. Every behaviour is an outcome of a definite reason.
Children resorting to mischievous and annoyingly playful behaviour in presence of guests are deprived of freedom at home. This mean these kids live in a very controlled environ and experience the freedom only when some guest arrives.
The main reason behind infants, toddlers or even kids taking to crying and in turn attract somebody’s attention is for to demonstrate that they are also an important individual out there. Sometimes even a complaint for toilet is also meant to bring the same thing to your notice.
Mindset of those kids, that lies, hide something or even do not share entire details related to their school life, are conditioned that way because of fear, punishment, threat or consequences of past response from their parents. And, the feeling of getting punished if they tell the truth often inspires them to behave in such manner. Those parents who are unable to digest failure of their wards inspires the latter to lie and do not reveal entire information.
Parents, who hold a constant negativism, taunt, finding faults and not accepting their wards’ friends, either fail in their own performances or have lacking in themselves. Kids, bombarded with words like ‘you will never learn’, ‘you will never be able to do it’, ‘am certain you will fail’, ‘you are a fool’, ‘you are irresponsible’, do hang back in competitions.
Many times children, who living in such environs and made to compete with their cousins constantly, makes them failure in their efforts and gradually develops a feeling of hatred towards home. And many times such children expresses deeply rooted anger towards their brothers and sisters.
Parents need to get matured, instead of kids. Children learn and pick up things from closely surrounded environs. Inculcating good habits, education, politeness, civility and conduct among children calls for genuine efforts accompanied by extreme care. In order to improve it, it is important to reach the causes of visible weaknesses among your kids. Children do not improve or change by mere instructions and punishments.
It is imperative to make them realize the consequences of bad attitude. Few of the examples need to be understood generally to bring changes in the children.
- It is to be noted that a failed student, who once received great accolades and words of appreciation from his teachers after playing a humorous character in a school play, became one of the most acknowledged humorist of Gujarati literature. Today people know him as – Mr. Ratilal Borisagar.
A child will never look back and keep on improving even if a little improvement or change in him is being accepted and appreciated by their parents. Parents, who live with certain restraints, fight with realities of life, lead spiritual and self-disciplinarian life and remains constantly alert to develop good habits among kids, do achieve success in most of the parts of bringing up of children.
For parents, chances are less of succeeding in extending an ideal upbringing if they try to change their wards offering facilities, physical comforts, and money or even for that matter resorting to negative attitudes.
Things like – helping children, have proper understanding of importance of physical comforts, reading of good stories, a quality time spent together, parent’s patience in understanding their problems, efforts made to know the correct information, natural ability to change habits and consciousness of parenting helps bringing the desired result among your wards.
– Jaydev Sonagara (Excerpt from his book “Parvarish – Making Children Successful”)
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