The most positive reaction, feedback and appreciation or praise from the parents to their wards always makes the latter emotionally stronger. Generally parents who shows anger or contempt towards their wards’ mistakes, failures or even shortcomings often lacks the habit of appreciating positive attitude in their kids. Because of this the kid is deprived of much needed inspiration for developing a positive attitude. One must not miss an opportunity to praise and appreciate children when she or he very positively carries out common activities. Children deserve compliments when they put their things in place, school bag at its proper place and keep their shoes properly.

When should you praise the kid?

  • When child does well in any of the work
  • When there is any improvement in their work
  • Shows positivity about learning new things

Parents must use effective appreciation rather a simple general act of praising, such as parent must use ‘I like you when you do the work like this and I am proud of you’; instead, ‘You did this work very well’. Other effective ways to praise include; saying ‘you are a promising child’, give a pat on their back, give a hug, kiss them, lift them, give them big round of applause, a signal of thumbs up and caress their head.

Clarify The Positive Attitudes:

If your child washes his/her hands before sitting for a meal then make sure you always illustrate this behaviour before others and recognize it, and appreciate in a language that it comprehends. Make a point to tell your kids that ‘You follow the instructions very nicely’ without fail. This inspires kids to practice good attitude more repeatedly and leads them to follow and implement your instructions.

Clarify The Reasons:

Children will not repeat the mistakes and will welcome the positive instructions if results of their behaviour and attitude are clarified to them and made understood. For example, if a child assists in arranging the house just before arrival of some guests, places things in order or does this entire job on his/her own then it certainly brings a sense of relief and pride for parents. The parents must tell their children that his/her presence makes them much comfortable and also make your wards realize this feeling.

A child will become more responsible, wise, and mature, and starts developing a positive mental attitude when the relation between reasons and results becomes clear to him/her. For instance, teach the kids to accept any notes made by the class teacher during teaching session for their mistakes and this will make kids become responsible, so they could avoid such notes in future, and pay attention to it. Children will definitely change his/her attitude if parents help them in understanding the mistake committed during the classroom and guide them on how to avoid such situations.

However, children takes to complicated, hardened, negative and irresponsible attitude when parents fails to accept the mistakes of their wards committed in the class, taunts, defends their wards and, in fact, especially when try to blame it on the teacher. The same child afterwards starts ignoring or rejecting parent’s instructions, advice, becomes inattentive, rude and subsequently the problem keeps increasing.

The parents, looking for a positive change or improvement in their wards, must not ask them to do anything by promising any reward or cash or even a gift, in advance. But they should only be rewarded just to encourage for such repeated improved behavior, only after if parents are able to notice some real improvement in his/her attitude.

– Jaydev Sonagara (Excerpt from his book “Parvarish – Making Children Successful”)

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